Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Wordless Wednesdays {are moving!}

After today, Wordless Wednesday will be moving to Silent Sunday! 

Here's a little something to get you through ;)

Jo has returned to work. It had to happen eventually but it still sucks. She's been such a trooper and although I know she must miss him dreadfully and feel all those yucky working mum feelings (that I know too well) she's just gotten on with it. I'm very proud of her for being so brave and I'm very grateful that we could  manage things so she could stay home with him for his first year.

We didn't want Elijah in care for more than three days a week, and there were only certain days that our chosen Day Care could offer so we've reshuffled things a little. Jo is home with E on Fridays and I've dropped work on Wednesdays so I get to stay home with our boy one whole day a week! I'm so so excited! 

I plan for my Wednesdays to be very productive! Lots of play, lots of housework and blogging! {I know, promises promises} 
Over and out for today, I have the most handsome little dude insisting we play with his new bike, which due to his Evel Knievel style, is a 'supervised only' toy :/

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Elijah turns one!

I find it hard to believe that it was a whole entire year ago that we were welcoming our son into the world. A YEAR!

I remember vividly the flood of relief when I heard his first cry, I remember feeling completely overwhelmed throughout Jo's labour but knowing it was all ok the first time I laid eyes on him, I remember taking him over to meet Jo while they were putting all her bits and pieces back together, I remember knowing that he would make my life more amazing each day, and he has.

We've had rough days, rougher nights, vomit, poop, pee, snot, blood, tears, moments of pure bliss, moments of total uncertainty. We've learned a lot about parenting, about each other, about ourselves. It's been a rollercoaster with the highs, the lows, that feeling of your stomach dropping and complete elation (sometimes all within the same day!). We've had sleepless nights, family snuggles, tickles, raspberries, kisses, pinchy little fingers and sharp little teeth.

Every moment, good and bad has brought us here - we are the very proud mums of a one year old boy who is absolutely everything we could ever want.

I'd like to thank everyone that has read, commented, offered advice and answered questions. I'd like to say special thank you to the ladies over at My Two Mums, who have been there from the very start when we found each other on a pregnancy app. They're kind, generous, have a great blog and a gorgeous son Monkey who was born just a few days after Elijah. It's been a pleasure to be on this journey with them, even if it's from across the pond!

All the memories, mushiness and thank you's aside, it's time to talk about the PARTY!

We decided on a woodland themed party at our home, a simple gathering with family and close friends. I had images of a gorgeous party with beautiful decorations and an indulgent food table thanks to all of the amazing images I found on Pinterest. I had the best of intentions... There was to be a three layered cake with fancy frosting, there was to be gorgeous decorations and woodland animal masks... hmmmmm.

It rained all day. The cake turned out dry and I decided against the fancy frosting technique at the last minute and let him have it as a smash cake, with cupcakes for the guests. Elijah bawled his eyes out for almost the entirety of the party. The food table looked nothing like it was supposed to and the masks fell apart as soon as the kids touched them haha!

But do you know what? None of that matters! Even though the party didn't turn out like the ones on Pinterest or in the magazines, it was our party - it was a day to celebrate our son turning one with our loved ones. We weren't blessed with good weather, but we were blessed with guests who absolutely showered Elijah with lovely gifts, we were blessed to be able to celebrate it together. We had people travel from hours away to celebrate with us. We even had story time with his great great Aunty, which was so special that I tear up just thinking about it. It was the best first birthday ever.

I'll leave you with some photos from the day x






Tuesday, 16 July 2013

I've been meaning to blog...

I've been meaning to blog but I've not been sure how to follow my last soul bearing secret revealing post... Do I go on about how shit I feel or do I go back to 'normal'

Then I decided to just write, with no expectations, no pressure or rules.


I've been a bit fragile, but I've been ok. I have my second meeting with my psych tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it in an odd kind of way. After the first meeting, I knew I was in for some good ole fashioned fixin' - she's good! She read me like a book. She pegged mother issues in three seconds flat ;) I was given homework; write, in point form, the events in my life that affected me the most and rate them 1-10 how they affected me then, and how they affect me now. I've done part of it. I just can't bring myself to rank them, it feels odd.

On to happier things, Elijah is more and more amazing each day. He loves to make us laugh and is becoming more and more the dare devil, climbing on the arms of couches and Jo even found him standing on too of his toy box today!!! 

Although he's not much interested in talking, he's getting very good at letting us know what he wants through body language and loves to take our hand to bring us to where he wants us to be :) He gives me the most lovely, slobbery kisses and is starting to get the gist of hugging back which is just lovely!

He loves peas and sultanas and every kind of meat. He's not so into vegetables like zucchini and cauliflower but I'll find a way to sneak them in ;) 

His favorite TV shows are Little Charlie Bear and In The Night Garden. We still read to him every night but he can't be trusted with books, he just eats them! (A hunger for knowledge?) I still tear up with most books, especially "mummy's kisses", "Koala Lou" and "Hunwick's Egg".

His party is planned, the RSVP's are in and I'm all set to get cracking with the baking come Thursday night. I really hope that the party turns out how it is in my mind. I just want it to be perfect for him. We've decided on a woodland theme. We went with a woodland theme for his nursery, so it ties in nicely.

Thank you to everyone that has given advice, shared their story and offered support since I last blogged. I really, truly appreciate it.

Note: I can't appear to comment from my mobile? I'm not ignoring the comments here on the blog, promise!

Friday, 5 July 2013

Here goes...

Right. So obviously I've let the blogging and the tweeting (and the housework and the shaving of ones legs) slip a little (a lot) lately...

Here goes...

I would like to say that I'm too busy with work or Elijah or one of the craft projects I have shoved in a bag/basket/box - but if I did, I'd be telling a big fat lie.

The truth is, I'm not that busy. I'm the usual mum-of-one-working-a-nine-to-five kind of busy. The truth is that when I do get a moment to sit down I sit on my arse and do nothing useful. 

The truth is, I've been procrastinating about my life and pretty much everything in it for as long as I remember.

The truth is, I've had a pretty crappy life up until meeting my wife and I think it's finally caught up to me.

The truth is, I've finally admitted that being sad all the time even though I have a beautiful, amazing wife and an extraordinary son, is not ok.

I came off cymbalta (anti-anxiety medication) a few months ago and I've not really been ok since. It's been hard to get up, go to work, wash my hair... 

I'm depressed. 

I have anxiety.


I've said it. I feel like an attention seeking, self indulgent prat but I've said it. 

I've seen my Dr, I've started seeing a psychologist and I'll get through it.

So. There are reasons I seem to have fallen off the face of the planet. But I'll be fine.

I hope that this post doesn't make me seem like a complete wanker. I hope you all understand, perhaps relate. I hope some of you even stick around ;)